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Looking for girlfriend or boyfriend > 30 years > My girlfriend is cheating on me but i dont want to break up

My girlfriend is cheating on me but i dont want to break up

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Dear Therapist,. I say mostly because there is one problem that always threatens to ruin everything. I have had multiple incidents where I deceived my girlfriend by flirting and secretly communicating with other women, and have had two incidents where I actually kissed other women. Both times my girlfriend found out, and it created incredible upheaval for us.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How To Break Up With Your Girlfriend - The Right Way!

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Hey Stupid... She's Cheating On You! 10 Signs She May Be Messing Around

My Girlfriend Cheated on Me – What Should I do?

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In the beginning, it's exciting. You can't wait to see your BF or GF — and it feels amazing to know that he or she feels the same way. The happiness and excitement of a new relationship can overpower everything else.

Nothing stays new forever, though. Things change as couples get to know each other better. Some people settle into a comfortable, close relationship. Other couples drift apart. There are lots of different reasons why people break up. Growing apart is one. You might find that your interests, ideas, values, and feelings aren't as well matched as you thought they were. Changing your mind or your feelings about the other person is another.

Perhaps you just don't enjoy being together. Maybe you argue or don't want the same thing. You might have developed feelings for someone else. Or maybe you've discovered you're just not interested in having a serious relationship right now.

Most people go through a break-up or several break-ups in their lives. If you've ever been through it, you know it can be painful — even if it seems like it's for the best. If you're thinking of breaking up with someone, you may have mixed feelings about it. After all, you got together for a reason. So it's normal to wonder: "Will things get better?

Even if you feel sure of your decision, breaking up means having an awkward or difficult conversation. The person you're breaking up with might feel hurt, disappointed, sad, rejected, or heartbroken. When you're the one ending the relationship, you probably want to do it in a way that is respectful and sensitive. You don't want the other person to be hurt — and you don't want to be upset either. Some people avoid the unpleasant task of starting a difficult conversation.

Others have a "just-get-it-over-with" attitude. But neither of these approaches is the best one. Avoiding just prolongs the situation and may end up hurting the other person more. And if you rush into a difficult conversation without thinking it through, you may say things you regret. Something in the middle works best: Think things through so you're clear with yourself on why you want to break up. Then act. Every situation is different. There's no one-size-fits-all approach to breaking up.

You've made the decision to break up. Break-ups are more than just planning what to say. You also want to consider how you will say it. Here are some examples of what you might say.

Use these ideas and modify them to fit your situation and style:. Whether they last a long time or a short time, relationships can have special meaning and value. Each relationship can teach us something about ourselves, another person, and what we want and need in a future partner. It's a chance for us to learn to care about another person and to experience being cared about.

A break-up is an opportunity to learn, too. It's not easy. But it's a chance to do your best to respect another person's feelings. Ending a relationship — as hard as it is — builds our skills when it comes to being honest and kind during difficult conversations. Search KidsHealth library.

How to Break Up Respectfully. What's in this article? Avoid It? Or Get it Over With? Reviewed by: KidsHealth Medical Experts. Abusive Relationships Emotional Intelligence. Print Send to a Friend. How to Break Up Respectfully What's in this article?

The happiness and excitement of a new relationship can overpower everything else Nothing stays new forever, though. DO: Think over what you want and why you want it.

Take time to consider your feelings and the reasons for your decision. Be true to yourself. Even if the other person might be hurt by your decision, it's OK to do what's right for you. You just need to do it in a sensitive way. Think about what you'll say and how the other person might react. Will your BF or GF be surprised? Or even relieved? Thinking about the other person's point of view and feelings can help you be sensitive.

It also helps you prepare. Lose his or her temper? How will you deal with that kind of reaction? Have good intentions. Be honest — but not brutal. Then say why you want to move on. Say it in person. You've shared a lot with each other. Respect that and show your good qualities by breaking up in person. If you live far away, try to video chat or at least make a phone call. Breaking up through texting or Facebook may seem easy.

But think about how you'd feel if your BF or GF did that to you — and what your friends would say about that person's character! If it helps, confide in someone you trust. But be sure the person you confide in can keep it private until you have your actual break-up conversation with your BF or GF. That's one reason why parents, older sisters or brothers, and other adults can be great to talk to.

They're not going to blab or let it slip out accidentally. DON'T: Don't avoid the other person or the conversation you need to have. Dragging things out makes it harder in the long run — for you and your BF or GF. Plus, when people put things off, information can leak out anyway. Don't rush into a difficult conversation without thinking it through. You may say things you regret. Don't disrespect. Speak about your ex or soon-to-be ex with respect.

Be careful not to gossip or badmouth him or her. Think about how you'd feel. You'd want your ex to say only positive things about you after you're no longer together. Plus, you never know — your ex could turn into a friend or you might even rekindle a romance someday. Use these ideas and modify them to fit your situation and style: Tell your BF or GF that you want to talk about something important.

Start by mentioning something you like or value about the other person. For example: "We've been close for a long time, and you're important to me.

For example: "But I'm not ready to have a serious boyfriend right now. For example: "So, I want to break up. For example: "I don't want to hurt you. For example: "I know you'll be OK. Be patient, and don't be surprised if the other person acts upset or unhappy with what you've said.

Cheating Girlfriend! She Cheated On Me But I Still Love Her. What To Do?

In the beginning, it's exciting. You can't wait to see your BF or GF — and it feels amazing to know that he or she feels the same way. The happiness and excitement of a new relationship can overpower everything else. Nothing stays new forever, though. Things change as couples get to know each other better.

But things are not as simple as that in your head. You have all these thoughts in your head, all these feelings in your chest, all these emotions in your heart.

For example: A guy might seduce a woman back by promising her the world and offering her what she wants if she gives him another chance e. I want to marry you, so please give me another chance so we can get engaged. I love you and you love me, right? I promise that things will be different from now on. I am going to make you so happy from now on.

The 11 mistakes that can make a breakup worse — and what to do instead

Chances are you've been through at least one breakup in your life. Nobody finds them easy, but because of the way we're wired — and our desire for connection — we can fall into traps that make breaking up with a partner even more difficult than it has to be. Rhodes, a psychologist, dating coach, and founder of Rapport Relationships. Business Insider spoke to two relationship experts about the biggest mistakes people make when they are trying to end their relationships, and how this can have a negative impact them and their future relationships. All breakups are different, and there are no set rules, but sometimes it's helpful to know what you really shouldn't be doing — especially in the emotionally confusing mess your mind will be in when you lose someone you really care about. In the immediate aftermath of a breakup, the massive sense of loss is likely to fall down on you pretty hard. Even if ending the relationship was your idea, you might not have realised how lonely it would feel knowing you don't have that person there for you anymore. This can mean people contact the other person and talk to them, because the habit is so hard to break. Ex-partners might find themselves falling into their old conversations, and even meeting up, because it feels familiar. But this won't do you any favours in the long run, especially if things get physical again.

9 Signs It’s Time to Dump Your Partner

For other couples, a break was the best thing that happened to their relationship. If something is making you question whether you should break up in the first place, you need to establish what exactly is wrong: Is there a trust problem? Do you have different life goals? Did someone cheat?

I imagine your stomach feels like it just got ripped clean out. I should know.

Sadly, we humans tend to be a bit more human than that. We fall in love, we commit, we get hurt — over and over — and we stay. People need people, but sometimes the cost is a heavy one.

Why Do Women Cheat Instead of Breaking Up?

And sometimes the relationship is worth saving, but how and why? Some even cheat as a means of breaking up. Dustin wrote: …He looks for a way to make her leave him, so He finds someone else who fits those needs and finds a way to let her find out. If someone has already decided to move on, preserving and maintaining the current relationship is not a high priority.

We were sitting close enough together on the edge of his bed that I could feel the heat of his body without actually touching him. A nervous magnetism was keeping us closer together than necessary and, also, just slightly apart. So there we sat, thighs squishing against the sagging side of his bed, waiting for either something or nothing to happen. Matt and I had sex every day sometimes multiple times a day for the first two years of our relationship. I thought, these are my horniest years, something must be wrong with me. I was

How to Break Up Respectfully

Here's how to prepare for the conversation and exactly what to say, so you can move on and heal together. First things first You must be so hurt, overwhelmed, angry, and scared. Please know that this is a normal reaction to a very traumatic situation. You will not always feel the way you do right now.

Mar 21, - Many people, men and women, sadly cheat instead of doing the right mind but in real life it usually breaks their Boyfriends/Girlfriends heart. off slowly and then they cheat as they dont want to hurt redinwhitedress.com My long-term boyfriend told me that my mental health has affected him and he just wants to.

Problems cannot be solved using the same level of thinking that created them. We must try something different. Gently, we turn your challenges into opportunities for healing. Moderated by Theresa Gulliver , Master Therapeutic Counsellor Counselor Problems cannot be solved using the same level of thinking that created them. Top Rated Answers.

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Comments: 1
  1. Majin

    Bravo, what necessary words..., a remarkable idea

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