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Why my girlfriend gets jealous

Feelings of jealousy can be hard to ignore however, and often go hand in hand with personal feelings of inadequacy. But how to do you handle these feelings? They often come on very strong and tend to be something shared across the spectrum of men in relationships. When you are in the dating world in your twenties, thirties and beyond it is normal to assume a new partner has a sexual past. They may even have children or a previous marriage. The first and most important thing in any aspect of a relationship is open communication.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: IS MY GIRLFRIEND JEALOUS?!

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Insecure Women Who Create Unnecessary Drama

6 Ways to Combat Your Jealousy in Relationships

Coping with a jealous girlfriend can be difficult. You may feel you're being unfairly scrutinized at all times. Work on reassuring your girlfriend in the moment by listening to her feelings and talking them over with her. From there, consider her perspective. There may be reasons she's more prone to jealousy. See if the two of you can work out the problem together as a couple.

Remember, however, that if your girlfriend's jealousy becomes unreasonable, you may have to end the relationship. For more tips from our co-author, including how to encourage your jealous girlfriend to work on her self esteem, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No. Log in Facebook.

No account yet? Create an account. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. By using our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Article Edit. Learn why people trust wikiHow. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in There are 7 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. Explore this Article Reassuring Your Girlfriend. Assessing the Situation. Addressing Underlying Issues. Tips and Warnings. Related Articles.

Article Summary. Part 1 of Allow her to discuss her insecurities. When someone is feeling jealous, you want to let them express themselves. Even if the jealousy is baseless, do not tell your girlfriend she's being irrational. Allow her to tell you how she feels and listen in a non-judgmental manner.

Remember, your girlfriend may very well know her jealousy is irrational; therefore, responding with something like, "Not this again," or, "You know you have nothing to worry about" is not a good means of deflecting jealousy. Instead, allow her to discuss her insecurities frankly. Your girlfriend may be more willing to move past her insecurities if you allow her to talk to them through rather than cutting her off. You can even encourage her to share, by asking her something like, "Can you tell me what you're feeling insecure about right now?

Validate her feelings. You do not want to tell your girlfriend not to feel what she's feeling. If your girlfriend is being jealous, your natural inclination may be to get defensive; however, this will not help diffuse the situation. Instead of responding defensively, show your girlfriend she is heard.

Do not, for example, say something like, "You know Melissa is just a friend. For example, "I understand you feel a little threatened by my close friendship with Melissa. Work on being responsive. Oftentimes, another person's jealousy can cause you to retreat. If your girlfriend is being jealous, you may get frustrated and feel she's being unfair; however, keep things open. Respond to what she's saying, even if it's frustrating.

If you shut out someone who's feeling jealous, this will make the problem worse. Resist the urge to retreat or ignore your girlfriend when she's being jealous. Even if her accusations are unreasonable, remind yourself you need to let her speak. If necessary, take a few deep breaths. Use "I"-statements. You focus on your own feelings about a situation rather than making an objective judgment.

After your girlfriend has expressed herself, calmly address the situation using "I"-statements. They begin with "I feel From there, you explain the behavior that led to that feeling. Lastly, you say why you feel the way you do. For example, "I feel frustrated when you interrogate me about spending time with Melissa because I want to be able to see my female friends on occasion. Provide reassurance. Oftentimes, jealous people have underlying insecurities. Instead of responding to jealousy with anger, reassure your girlfriend how much you value her.

Remind her that you love and care. For example, say something like, "I get that it must be weird for you that I'm friends with my ex but she's my ex for a reason.

I really love you, and really cherish our relationship. Part 2 of Ask your girlfriend about her fears. An open dialogue about the roots of jealousy can help you both overcome the problem.

When your girlfriend is feeling jealousy, try to ask her directly about her fears. If your girlfriend is able to talk through her fears about the relationship, she will be better able to overcome them.

This may explain why she feels jealous. People feel jealous for a variety of reasons. Your girlfriend may be afraid of losing you. She may also simply fear being left out. Ask your girlfriend something like, "What exactly are you afraid is going to happen when you get jealous?

Identify if you are experiencing trust issues or jealousy. Though the end result may look the same — possessive, paranoid, controlling, etc. Jealousy is envy that comes about through comparison and is likely unfounded, while a trust issue is usually something that has developed due to a partner's behavior or is rooted in past experiences.

For instance, if you cheated on your girlfriend in the past and she gets upset when you spend one-on-one time with another girl, this is not jealousy. She is experiencing trust issues because of choices that you made. Dealing with jealousy is different than dealing with trust issues. Ask yourself if you have done anything to cause your girlfriend to be mistrustful.

Have you cheated in the past? Do you have a history of lying to her? Trust issues may relate to her personal history as well. Think about things like your girlfriend's family. People who did not have strong ties growing up tend to be more jealous, as they're more nervous about losing their partner. If you have trust issues in the relationship and not jealousy issues, consider speaking with a couple's counselor and encourage your girlfriend to seek individual therapy to work through these issues if they are due to previous relationships.

Notice if what you say and the way you act are in alignment. If you find that you don't back up your words with your actions, you can use this new awareness to make sure you start doing the things you say you will do.

Be honest, straightforward, compassionate, and assertive when communicating with your girlfriend. Tell her what you want from an open relationship and be willing to listen to what she wants, too.

If the relationship is built on trust and your girlfriend still gets very jealous, then she needs to work on developing more self-esteem and dealing with her own insecurities. Avoid becoming defensive about your behavior. Once you've evaluated the relationship, keep what you've learned in mind when dealing with your girlfriend's jealousy. When your girlfriend becomes jealous in a situation, remind yourself of the root of her jealousy. Do not become defensive. For example, you can think something to yourself like, "I know Maddie is being unreasonable, but a lot of her exes have cheated on her.

Remember to empathize with your girlfriend. Try to talk to her calmly and offer to help solve the problem. For example, say something like, "What can I do to help you calm down? Part 3 of Ask your girlfriend what things you do bother her.

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This week we have a man with a female best friend, but his girlfriend is getting jealous. Some people have problems that require delicate advice from a qualified professional. Welcome back to Tough Love. People ask for my advice and I give it to them.

An ex of mine from college was coming to town for work and wanted to get together for dinner. This was a relationship that ended amicably, and we remained good friends.

Sounds romantic, right? Not really. The truth is, many individuals who have been in a relationship with someone who easily gets jealous can tell you that while it can be sweet and cute sometimes, too much of this can already be toxic. If you believe that you are with someone who displays the same characteristics as an overly jealous partner, then this article is your answer.

11 Signs Your Partner Has Unhealthy Jealousy

Sometimes when women are in relationships, they become super possessive of their partners and it can turn into some really ugly jealous behaviors. These forms of jealousy are just plain childish and they need to stop immediately. Relationships are about trust, and when jealous behaviors begin to peek through, it never results in anything good. You lose sight of what you actually have when you start to doubt the security of your relationship. There might be a handful of guys who actually feed off jealousy and find it flattering, but for the most part, no one finds this cute in any way. You need figure your stuff out and learn how to be more secure and confident in yourself, which should nip any jealousy issues in the bud. It sets a tone in your relationship.

Why am I Jealous of My Girlfriend’s Past and What Can I Do About It?

Dear Diana, I have been with my girlfriend for over a year now. I really love her but the problem is that she is very jealous and possessive. She wants me to stop talking to all my friends male and female. I had this best friend who I'd known for the last six months, who told me one day that she has strong feelings for me. My girl found out and was irritated and would get angry with me if I spoke to her.

No matter how much you trust someone, you can still get jealous, especially if you care and love that person.

Jealousy can pretty much be the worst, and I feel like there's no such thing as good jealousy or bad jealousy — if it's jealousy, it's not awesome. That being said, there are certain signs that your partner has unhealthy jealousy , and this type of jealousy can really corrode the very fabric of your relationship and make everything just totally suck in your daily life. You shouldn't be doing things to spark jealous feelings in your partner, and they should trust you enough that they shouldn't get upset if your phone dies and they don't know where you are, or if you spend the day with someone they don't know very well.

How to Deal With a Jealous Girlfriend: Ways to Calm Down a Possessive Girlfriend

By using our site, you acknowledge that you have read and understand our Cookie Policy , Privacy Policy , and our Terms of Service. Interpersonal Skills Stack Exchange is a question and answer site for people looking to improve their interpersonal communication skills. It only takes a minute to sign up. I really love my girlfriend.

Jealousy can rip apart a relationship, slowly but surely obliterating everything good about everything and leaving you feeling pretty awful. I spoke with nine relationship experts, and they all conveyed a sense of positivity about the whole thing, reminding us that it is possible to find real change within a relationship, as long as both parties are really serious about figuring out what to do. Many experts cited insecurity as a sure-fire cause of jealousy, and gently shared some great methods to open up with your partner and figure out how to take their jealousy down a notch or five. Toney tells Bustle. But you can assure your partner that things are different now.

Dealing with a jealous girlfriend

Does your girlfriend get jealous when you talk with other girls? Does she keep calling and texting you every time you are out with your friends? Does your girlfriend annoyingly expect you to inform her when you get home after a party? Do you think that she is getting obsessively possessive and clingy about you? Jealousy is a deep rooted emotion that can break up even the strongest of relationships.

Usually, whenever a girl is in the midst of jealousy, you will get unbelievable answers to She would casually mention to his boyfriend that the girl had a lot of.

Wondering who your S. Totally fair. Accusing them of cheating because you saw a figure that resembled their ex on their SnapChat? Absolutely not. Robert L.

Coping with a jealous girlfriend can be difficult. You may feel you're being unfairly scrutinized at all times. Work on reassuring your girlfriend in the moment by listening to her feelings and talking them over with her.

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Comments: 1
  1. Kazrakazahn

    As a variant, yes

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